so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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