Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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