Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My balls are so social today.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
