Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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