Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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