Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.