Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process