My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.