he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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