Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
