Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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