sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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