feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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