Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
