it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
