i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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