My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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