I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you will always have a special place in my vag
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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