hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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