: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
