Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I deserve this hangover.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
