if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
