but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
