At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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