I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
not ubering you a puppy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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