I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
