I puked a lego.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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