Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
