we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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