Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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