You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
