i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
