My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
