Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize