so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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