we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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