I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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