Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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