Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize