DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
