it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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