Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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