Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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