i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
