walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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