no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im holly from the hills drunk
worst night to have a conscience
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
