Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
