my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
