it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
