The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
