Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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