He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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