Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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