totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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