Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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