and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
