Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Randomize