I just cut my nipple shaving
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
