O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
