How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
