I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
