Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize