trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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