When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
