hell yes lets make some ravioli
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
