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Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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