the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When are your genitals available?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
