and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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