found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize