I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
