what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
