im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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