I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
