If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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