She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Fuck appropriateness.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize