I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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