Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
