we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
