He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
