her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
