She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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