I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
